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missjanjie · 5 years ago

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Branjie Fic | Take Me Back to the Start (8/?)

Title: Take Me Back to the Start Summary: Everyone remembers their first love. Not everyone carries those feelings from childhood to senior year. Yet Brock is starting his last year of high school while still longing for the relationship he lost five years ago. Meanwhile, José is at the top of the food chain and seems to have it all together. But maybe their story isn’t over yet. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter) / ~25.3k (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll) Rating: E

Read on AO3

José was never able to sleep the night before a competition, but for some reason, it felt worse tonight. It felt like there was more on the line— not only did he feel the need to live up to the expectations of the coach and everyone on his team, he wanted to be as good as Brock seemed to think he was.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized how important Brock’s opinion was to him. Next to his mother, no one else ever seemed to believe in him so unabashedly, and he didn’t have the ‘parental obligation’ that he associated with his mom. Brock believed in him because he wanted to.

And maybe that should have put him at ease; it should be something to take comfort in. Instead it just made him feel like he had more to prove, that he had to prove he was worthy of Brock’s praise.

Either way, it was almost four in the morning and José was as awake as ever, and he knew he would regret it in the morning if he didn’t at least keep trying to get some sleep.

But it became clear that just wasn’t happening, so he texted Brock to see if he was awake.

‘You can’t sleep either?’ Brock sent in response.

‘Nope :(‘

‘Wanna call me?’

José grinned, sitting up in bed. ‘Yeah, one sec,’ he sent before calling him. “What’s got you up, boo?”

“I’m just nervous about tomorrow,” Brock admitted with a sigh. “Everything went well at the game, but it’s gonna be a whole other setting and it’s really gonna be a testament to whether or not I can choreograph or if I ruined everything for everyone.”

That definitely didn’t make José feel any less anxious – if anything, the knot in his stomach tightened. “If it helps, it’s not all on you. We did this together. We either succeed or we flop, but it ain’t all on your head. Or mine.” The last part was a reminder for himself, but it didn’t digress from the point.

“I don’t wanna screw anything up for you, though.”

José didn’t mean to laugh, quickly trying to stop himself. “You think you’re gonna screw something up for me? Boy, you must be really up in your head.”

“You say that like it’s a new development,” Brock retorted dryly. “I can’t help it, I just want everything as close to perfect as physically possible.”

“Yeah, what else is new?” José chuckled. “If you keep tryna be perfect you just gonna create impossible standards. You’re already the best dancer I know; if anything I should be lecturing you about being too arrogant, but you ain’t even cocky.”

Brock sighed with a light laugh. “I think if I started getting cocky I’d just end up apologizing for it,” he chuckled softly, then yawned.

José caught the yawn, rubbing his eyes. “I think we tired each other out,” he mused. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As late as it was, they did finally manage to sleep through the night, hoping it’d be enough to get through the next day.

------

Brock had been walking around the building the competition was in, as he’d ended up getting there before the team. But apparently, he had been wandering around too long, because all of a sudden, he looked up and saw Courtney barreling towards him.

“There you are! We started to think you got lost.” She took his hand, guiding him to the waiting area where the team was getting ready.

“Sorry.” He offered a half-hearted apology, now distracted by examining the group and, more specifically, looking for José to see how he was holding up.

José didn’t even notice when Brock arrived, deeply invested in the task at hand. He was standing by the freshmen on the team, fixing their hair and makeup, going over the steps. One girl seemed to look anxious, so he pulled her aside to give her a pep talk that lifted her spirits.

“He’s a real den mother, isn’t he?” Courtney remarked to Brock, who was leaning against the wall and watching him with the fondest of smiles.

“Makes a great team captain,” he agreed.

It was mutually beneficial as well — when José was focusing his attention on keeping the younger teens motivated and in good spirits, he had a solid distraction from his own nerves. If he kept preaching these words of affirmation, maybe he would start believing them himself.

Once the group had dispersed, Brock made his way over to him, pressing a kiss to his temple and giving him a light squeeze. “Holding up okay?”

“Trying to,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck, gaze shifting from the taller teen to the younger group. “It’s the first big competition for most of them, can’t let ‘em see you sweat, you know? They’re all looking to me to have shit together.” His voice was strained, without the distraction, he was back to being consumed with anxiety.

And Brock picked up on it, squeezing his shoulders and staring at him until José gave in and made eye contact. “Listen to me, we’re here because you’re an amazing captain. They look up to you because you’ve been an incredible role model this whole time. I don’t just believe in you because I like you, I believe in you because you’re one of the most talented, hard-working people I’ve ever met.”

Despite his stubborn efforts, José relaxed at his words. He realized he’d needed a pep talk just as much as his younger teammates. “Thanks.” He looked up at Brock, giving up any attempt at hiding the smile that fought its way to his lips. “Couldn’t have done it without you, though.”

“I’m glad I could help, but you guys are gonna be the ones tearing it up, and I’ll be cheering for you the whole time,” he promised.

Shortly after that, the squad was given a ten-minute warning, and Brock made his way out to the bleachers. He was sitting for about a moment before he looked up to see a familiar face joining him. “You again?” he joked.

“Yes, I’ve been stalking you this whole time.” Karl chuckled. “I’ve never seen a cheer competition before, do they all just perform their routines and that is it?”

“Neither have I, now that I think of it,” he shrugged. “But yeah, I can safely assume that’s the gist of it.”

Karl furrowed his brows. “You haven’t? Has José not been competing?”

Brock shook his head. “No, no, he has. But we… went a few years without talking, only picked back up recently.”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Is it?”

He couldn’t tell if the question came from disbelief or genuine confusion, pressing his lips together and looking out ahead of him. “José and I have a unique history. Guess at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter, mostly just happy with the page we’re on now.”

“Mostly?”

Brock pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering if being this nosy was a French trait, or something specific to this teen. “Everything is a work in progress, but things are going in the right direction,” he concluded. “How are you and Charlie?”

The expression that overtook Karl wasn’t unfamiliar to Brock — giddy, warm, rosy cheeks with an offset gaze—it was the same lovesickness that had plagued him since childhood. Only this time, he wasn’t looking in a mirror, and it brought a sense of relief to him, that he wasn’t alone in the smitten boat, so to speak. “Things are good,” he answered. “Very good.”

“I can tell. You two are good for each other,” he mused. “Don’t let anything get in the way of that.”

Karl nodded, then both of them shifted focus to the floor as their school’s team entered. The music began to play and the routine began, both of their eyes trained on every moment.

When it ended, Brock realized he had been holding his breath the whole routine. He stood up and cheered as the air returned to his lungs, filled to the brim with pride and admiration - it couldn’t have gone better if he tried, and a weight lifted off his chest.

But the nerves came back with a vengeance when it came time to announce the winners. Third place was announced, and after second, Brock was starting to get nervous. He was on the edge of his seat when the first place was announced.

“Holy shit, we won.” Brock didn’t register the cheering or Karl shaking him. He was stunned. That really happened. All of their hard work actually paid off in a tangible manner. It wasn’t until the noise had died down that he came back to earth. As soon as the team exited, he got up and ran to meet them on the other side.

The second José spotted Brock, he sprinted towards him. He didn’t say a word, just grabbed him by the face and kissed him hard, not letting go until his lungs gave him no other choice.

Brock wrapped his arms around José’s waist, picking him up and spinning him around. “That was amazing!” He kissed his cheek before setting him down. “I am so proud of you.”

“We did it!” José beamed when his words were no longer escaping him. His face was red and his eyes were wide, sparkling with enthusiasm and pairing perfectly with a smile that could outshine the sun itself. “We really fuckin’ did it.”

They did have to break apart when the rest of the team crowded around in collective celebration. Parents were running in to congratulate their children, people started to scatter as they posed for pictures with their medals.

José was the first to notice his and Brock’s mothers walking towards them. He chuckled softly, the two women were chatting animatedly, as if no time at all had passed since the last time they were in a room together. He admired the effortlessness in their camaraderie, it led him to believe that things could actually be normal between himself and Brock. “Aw look, they getting along.”

Brock chuckled. “What, did you think it was gonna be like the Capulets and Montagues?” He received a blank stare in response. “Romeo and Juliet?”

“Oh yeah, with Leonardo DiCaprio.” He nodded confidently, and they were embraced by their moms before Brock could offer a response.

------

It was getting late; the cheerleaders were starting to taper off after the celebration dinner. Everyone was a bit tired, but spirits were high and bright.

“Do you wanna come over? Maybe spend the night?” José asked with his mouth half full, washing the bite down with a swig of water. He and Brock hadn’t left each other’s sides since the win, they’d even been squished together in the restaurant booth until people started to leave.

Brock grinned, setting his napkin down on the empty plate. “Sure, if your mom doesn’t mind.”

“Naw, you were always her favorite anyway.” He chuckled, waiting for him to slide out of the booth so he could follow suit, and they walked out to his car with linked arms.

The drive back was quiet – Brock seemed lost in thought and José chose to focus on the road than press him about it. They’d had a long day, after all, he was sure if it was worth bringing up, it’d come out eventually.

Once they were finally in José’s bedroom, they were as relaxed as ever, watching Real Housewives reruns and getting just high enough to not know what city they were in. They had their own running commentary going, one that started as jokes and devolved into just mimicking what the women said in nasally, valley girl voices.

But after a while, the TV faded into the background, and they became more invested in their cuddling. And then cuddling turned to kissing, which led to groping.

“I think we should have sex,” Brock said suddenly.

José blinked in surprise, taking a moment to make sure he’d actually heard him correctly and he wasn’t so high that he had started to hear things (which would’ve been improbable with the meager amount of weed they smoked, but he could never be too sure). “Are you sure?”

Brock just nodded simply. “Uh-huh. I mean, I’ve been wanting to for a while now, but I, you know, overthought it every time and chickened out,” he explained, for once not feeling like he was struggling to stay calm.

He let out a laugh because yes, that was very on-brand for Brock and knew for sure that he was being sincere. “Well, if we’re being real right now, I have been wanting you to fuck me since the rain cockblocked us at the park.”

It brought him a relief to know that these feelings had been mutual for a while now, though it made him feel ridiculous that he’d been so adamant about holding out and hiding away. They could’ve crossed this path weeks ago, but he quickly concluded it was better late than never. “Then what are we waiting for?” he asked, pulling José into a kiss before he could answer.

Not that there was anything José felt like he needed to add. He kissed back with all the eagerness that had been building up over what felt like ages now. He was gripping onto Brock by his shirt, breaking the kiss just long enough to yank it off and toss it aside, his own following immediately after.

Brock was amused at the speed and dexterity the brunette expressed when he wanted something done, and he decided that all he needed to do was keep up with him. So, he scrambled to get out of his jeans, to get them both undressed as fast as the delayed connection between his brain and his hands allowed.

“Tell me if you wanna slow down or stop or anything.” The difference in their speeds had become apparent enough to José. Even without a request, he quelled his pace so they were at a similar rhythm, one that soon felt effortless to both of them. He waited for a beat, then reached into his drawer and handed him a bottle of lube.

“We don’t need a condom?” Brock asked, examining the bottle and figuring out what he needed to do next.

José shrugged. “Nah, you a virgin, and I tested clean. Might as well make your first time even better, you know?” He had always used protection with Kyle, insisting it was for safety. Despite being technically true, in the back of his mind, he knew it was because he never completely trusted that he was his only partner. Perhaps in another place and time, it would’ve bothered him, but he didn’t care anymore, and it was a freeing revelation.

Brock, on the other hand, accepted the explanation at face value. “That works for me.” He hummed, waiting for José to lay back. “You, um, need to prep first, right? Or am I supposed to do it?”

“You getting nervous already. Lemme do it,” he decided, taking the bottle back from him. “Pay attention, so you know what to do next time.”

He smiled, the idea that ‘next time’ was a given settled well with him, it made him feel warmth swell in his chest. “Should I take notes?” he joked, sitting cross-legged on the bed. But as he immediately realized, notes would not be necessary. Watching José surpassed any porn he’d ever watched. It had him hypnotized and practically drooling, he was absentmindedly jerking off to the sight that he couldn’t look away from if he tried.

And José absolutely adored the attention and tried to put on a show without being too loud. He worked himself just to the point of readiness, easing his fingers out and looking up at Brock. “You ready, big guy?”

“You fucking bet I am,” Brock chuckled softly. He took the bottle and used the lube to slick up his length, then very carefully guided himself into him, grunting softly as he did. It took him a moment to adjust, the feeling so new and overwhelmingly pleasurable.

José waited patiently for Brock to get comfortable. He already felt so good just having him buried inside him, just holding him close, one hand on his back and the other tangled in his hair. And when Brock started thrusting, he yielded to his movements right away.

Brock’s moans went from cursing and words of praise to unintelligible nonsense faster than he could’ve anticipated. His thrusts were a bit unsteady but deep and fervent. His hands were at either side of José, balancing himself until he moved one to grab his waist, giving him a better angle to continue.

Time faded out of relevance as the thrusts became more desperate and erratic, the two of them clinging to each other for dear life. It could’ve been anywhere from ten minutes to ten hours – they didn’t know, nor did they care. By the time they were both spent, they were lost in their own little world. Nothing else mattered, they could bask at this moment forever.

“So was it good for you?” José asked when he finally caught his breath and the room stopped spinning so much.

Brock snorted, covering his mouth. “Yes. It was very, very good,” he replied, wrapping his other arm around the smaller male and holding him close. “It was good for you too, right?”

“Of course it was.” He huffed as if it should’ve been obvious.

“Just checking,” he cooed and kissed his forehead, then yawned as he closed his eyes. “At least tonight we’re gonna sleep really well.”

José buried his face into Brock’s chest, mumbling a sleepy “Uh-huh.”

Brock exhaled deeply, holding him close, then gently whispering, “I love you.”

He got a loud snore in response and he laughed to himself. Maybe it was for the best, he thought as he started to drift off. The right time would come eventually.

#branjie #branjie fic #rpdr rpf

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artificialqueens · 7 years ago

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Courtney’s Infinite Search for Love Ch. 13 (Witney) - Grinder

AN: Apologies it took so long to update. I’ve been trying to get my life together by getting a job which I’m still in the process of but very hopeful. Anyway, enjoy the update.

~ Grinder

It hasn’t even been a week since I started my shifts at The Tap, the bar in which Adore performed, the place we held most of our staff do’s. Although the memories made here were not necesserily the best due to recent events, it was somewhat comforting working in a familiar environment. The sound of the drunks singing along to the mellow sounds of Adore’s voice makes me smirk with amusement.

“Kiss me…beneath the milky twilight…” a man serenades me as I pour him his fifth drink for the night.

“You having a good time, mate?” I ask beaming a smile at him.

“Ohhh, the lady…” he pauses to point a finger to Adore twirling on the stage, “…brilliant singer…brilliant singer…”

“I know, right? That’s Adore. She’s my friend.” I stated handing him the pint of beer.

“Beautiful - beautiful…” he slurs, “You know?”

“Yeah…” I look to Adore as she gently sways to the rhythm of her song, fairy lights reflecting their glow off her hair. “…she really is…”

My eyes turn to the drunken man as he hands me his money and stumbles away with his drink. He trips on the way causing everyone to look in his direction. His friends help him up as he begins laughing and cheering at his foolishness.

Adore has even stopped singing for a moment, she’s distracted by the scene.

“Be careful, man. Glad you’re having fun though. Damn.” She giggles before continuing on with the song.

I watch her as she sings so smoothly, the audience sway from side to side captivated by her performance. She has such an amazing presence.

I’m so glad she got me into this job. Not only is it extra money but I still get to spend time with her. Ever since I told her about the Willam situation she’s been nothing but helpful. She’s visited everyday, even Bailey is convinced she has a second mom. Her company has helped a lot.

I suppose I feel better that I patched things up with Alyssa but there was still Willam. I know in my heart I should just forgive her. But there is still some level of hurt there. Not as much as it was before. I’ve learned to kind of forget about it and get on with life.

But when I’m in Adore’s company I just seem to forget about everything. All the bad feelings leave my mind. No Willam. No worries.

Snap. Snap.

I’m pulled from my thoughts as I look to the source of the snapping.

“Anyone home?”

It’s a man clicking his fingers in my direction, his other hand holding a few coins. “I’m sorry. What can I get you?”

“Just a strawberry and lime cider. You distracted?” He teases as I get to work on his order.

“No…well, yeah actually. She’s my friend. She’s a great singer.” I speak trying to focus on finding the right bottle from the coolers. Once I find it, I bend down to grab the bottle.

“Oh, she’s yours then?” He smirks.

“My friend, yes.” I reply before grabbing a glass and filling it with ice. I turn back to him and place the glass down.

He’s silent for a while but still smiling. He breaks the pause, responding with, “nice.”

Feeling awkward in the strange moment, I take his money, grab the change from the till and return to the man.

“Keep the change.” He smirks, walking away.

“Thanks.” I reply.

Well that was weird.

The music, stops making me turn to look to the stage.

“Thank you all for having me. My name is Adore Delano and you can’t buy any singles yet ‘cause I’m such a busy bitch but come see me more. You’ve been a great audience!” Adore kisses her fingers and gives the audience a sign of peace before leaving the stage. She practically skips up to the bar, squealing with excitement. “Oh my gosh, that was the best gig I’ve had so far. I’m so glad I wasn’t roped into that Friday gig. That shit’s messy.”

“I know, girl. Well congratulations! You did great. Trust me; watch this place start to fill up with crowds over the next week.” I beam a smile as I work on pouring her a drink.

“Holy shit, you’re like my number one fan girl, I love it.” Adore laughs. “So how was your first night working as a bar tender?”

I pass Adore the bottle of beer and she takes a sip.

“Not my first night. I did some at college. Remember? But I suppose this place is nicer compared the last place I worked. Better atmosphere. Nice lighting. Friendly customers -even though some are kinda weird-” I mutter the last part. “And I get to watch you perform as well so that’s a big plus.”

“Yeah, ‘cause why wouldn’t you wanna watch this bitch sing other peoples music for a couple of hours.” Adore’s smirks, taking another drink. “I swear, man, one day I’m gonna write my own stuff. And I’m gonna be sooo…fucking…cool.”

“Well I’m gonna hold you to that.” I say leaning my elbows on the counter.

“You better.” Adore replies.

“So what are your plans now?”

“Well I was just gonna hang out here until you finished your shift. Maybe I’ll get drunk. I dunno. I just wanna hang out.”

“Well I’m very glad you find me entertaining enough despite all the whining and crying I’ve been doing.” I stifle a laugh.

“Girl, shut up. You’re so fucking awesome. I love you and don’t you forget that.” Adore points a finger in my face and uses her other hand to grab mine.

“I love me too.” I say with a cheeky smile.

-_-_-_-

It’s been over 3 weeks since I started the temporary bar tending shifts at The Tap and let’s just say it’s no longer temporary. Dick offered me a full time position due the lack of workers he had as well as my “charismatic personality”. So here I am making more money than I had when working for Tune 105. I took night shifts as I didn’t want to give up working for the radio station that I loved so much. I still worked on writing the news scripts so I had the opportunity to meet our two new presenters. They were nice. Very smart and approachable. I helped them prepare for live news readings along with Dela even though the only experience I have with it is from watching Adore and Alyssa.

Speaking of Adore and Alyssa, they were promoted as reporters of the morning and news programmes. They work with Katya and Trixie now, the clowns of the station. It’s fun to watch Alyssa get frustrated with them as they goof around when their supposed to be out finding stories. Adore just encourages them which makes it even funnier. But the final product of the programmes always turn out perfect. If only our station had a wider audience. I feel Adore, Alyssa, Katya and Trixie deserve more recognition.

And more news on Alyssa, she talked more with Tatianna after she received the promotion. It was to be expected after all what with Alyssa being a reporter for the noon news show which Tati presented. At first they seemed really professional around each other, working together on how a story should go and what should be said. Alyssa wasn’t so nervous around her anymore.

And one day I just so happened to walk in on Alyssa having a mini break down over how her story was failing to go anywhere. Tatianna gave her tips and ideas of how they could make it all work. Alyssa would brush them off but Tati pushed her to do it. What a professional.

I know it seems like I was eavesdropping. I tried so hard to focus on my news script. But I couldn’t help but glance over from time to time to make sure Alyssa was OK. And about the third time I looked around, Tati had just kissed her, pulling away and squeezing her shoulders. I kept in an excited squeal as I felt a rush of happiness for Alyssa. She finally got the one she really wanted. It turned out that they had been seeing each other now that they were working so closely. It just felt right seeing them so happy.

And my happiness? Let’s just say I’m 100% content with life right now. I haven’t properly spoken to Willam yet. We’ve said a few things at the station like when we’re in meetings we share comments on ideas. And sometimes she’ll ask if I want tea to which I don’t turn my nose up at her but gratefully accept. I don’t know where we stand right now. But I’m happy with the way things are.

Adore comes around my place religiously. She says it’s because she likes hanging out with me, but I know the other reason is because of Bailey. Most of our days consist of sitting on the living room floor, talking about random things while playing with my puppy. I love Adore’s company. She’s so quick and witty which never fails to make me laugh. I’m glad she exists. Everyone thank the lord for Adore.

“Courtney?”

“Sorry. What?” I snap out of my train of thought looking to Adore who’s being attacked with kisses from Bailey.

“I said let’s go to the mall and play hide and seek.” She proposes.

Am I a child or a 30 year old woman?

Yes.

“Sounds great.”

-_-_-_-

Adore and I giggle like two idiots as we walk around the large shopping mall. Alaska is looking after Bailey just so we can play hide and seek in such a large space. What dorks. But honestly, it sounds fun right? Again. Thank the lord for Adore.

“OK, bitch!” Adore practically shouts feeling very obnoxious (but in a good way.) “I’m gonna go hide now. Gimme a minute before you come looking for me.”

“A minute??” I exclaim.

“Yeah. Maybe 2. Have you seen the size of this place?” Adore’s eyes widen as she looks around.

“OK. I’ll be in that store over there. I’m giving you 2 minutes. Better make it count.” I smile mischievously.

“Oh, I will! I already know where I’m hiding.” She laughs taking a few steps away.

“1..2…” I begin.

And she’s off. Literally running and trying to dodge the people. I shake my head and laugh quietly at the immaturity we possess.

I wander around the clothes shop about 2 minutes, admiring the items on display. After the 2 minutes is up, I’m on the hunt.

Now, if I was Adore…where would I hide? Maybe her favourite clothes shop? Nah, too easy. Well she could be hiding behind the clothes. No, too obvious. Maybe somewhere big. Some difficult to find anyone.

…

IKEA!

I make my way to the store, determined she will be there. Why wouldn’t you hide in IKEA? Yes, it’s predictable but difficult to find anyone. I mean, how many times have you seen a parent looking for their lost kid in IKEA.

I search around the display rooms, looking in every shower and cupboard. So far no where to be seen. Yep, this was definitely hard. There are so many display rooms. Would she choose one that she likes? Or would that be too obvious. What about one absolutely terrible looking? Or is that also too obvious.

I continue looking around the store, getting strange looks from shoppers as I inspect the display rooms carefully. After a few minutes, I’ve found her. There’s a bed covered in a red satin sheets and clearly there is a person underneath. I cautiously approach the bed making sure there’s no peek holes she could be spying from in order to plan an escape. Oh my gosh, it sounds like I’m a kidnapper or something.

I grab the top of the covers and pull back hard to reveal that it indeed was Adore. She yelped out in surprise and covered her form with her arms.

“Get out of my room, you heathen! I am without clothing!” She practically shouts.

I laugh and shush her looking around to see a few people shaking their heads. “People are going to approach us.”

“Well who wouldn’t wanna approach us, man.” Adore giggles pulling me down on the bed beside her. “Two very good looking women in a red satin bed is a fucking magical attraction in my opinion.”

I laugh and playfully slap her hands off of me. “Come on, let’s get out of here fast!”

“Hey!”

My ears prick up as we both turn our heads to the abrupt voice. Oh shit. A member of staff.

“What do you think you two are doing?? Get out of that bed and get the hell outta here before I call mall security.” He threatens with a pointed tone.

I hastily get off the bed with a face red with embarrassment. But honestly I’m also dying laughing.

“Fine.” Adore sulks standing up. I try to make the bed again as Adore continues to talk to the man. “Me and my newly wed wifey will just go else where to find our new bed. Come on, Courtney.”

She extends her hand to me which I take and walk away as people just shake their heads.

“Oh my God. We just got kicked out of IKEA.” I speak in a quiet voice as exit the store.

“I know. How punk rock.” Adore laughs aloud. She let’s go of my hand and turns to me. “OK, you’re turn to hide now.”

“You really wanna keep playing after what just happened?”

“Yeah, duh! I’m giving you 2 minutes.”

“Are you sure we should?”

“1…2…3…” Adore smiles as she begins to count.

All I can do is smirk as I run from her. I try to think of a place to hide. But I can’t stop thinking about the fact we just got kicked out of IKEA for testing a bed. I swear being with Adore, you just forget about what everyone else thinks. It’s good to let yourself go sometimes.

The smell of coffee hits my nostrils and it smells so good. I look around and find a Starbucks. How long has it been since Adore started counting? Better hide now than worry about being caught too early. I make my way inside, sitting at a two person table that just so happens to have a newspaper laying there. I hold the paper up pretending to read. While I wait, I feel nervous about being caught at any moment. Ever get that feeling while playing hide and seek when your stomach is in a knot and you don’t want to breathe. That’s me right now.

I hear the seat in front of me pull out. A bag is placed on the table. How could she possibly have found me already??

“What’s with the paper cover up? You got a zit or herpes, girl?”

My newspaper flies down at the sound of the familiar voice. It’s not Adore. It’s Willam.

“Oh, no.” I reply nervously tucking my hair behind my ear. “I’m just…hiding.”

Willam looks around cautiously. “From who?”

“Oh, just Adore.” I stifle a laugh. “We’re playing hide and seek.”

“Really? Sounds great. So she’s looking for you right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, maybe I should go sit somewhere else before I make it obvious where you are.” Willam says as she begins to stand up.

I don’t let her get too far though. My hand shoots out and grabs hers. “Wait a second.”

Willam looks puzzled for a few seconds before sitting down again.

I just look at her for a while, thinking of something to say. I open my mouth but close it again. And repeat the action again. I guess it’s best to come right out with it. “I just want to let you know that I forgive you, Willam.”

“Really?” Her eyes widen as she looks bewildered.

“Yeah, the past few weeks I’ve felt happier in just living my life as it happens. I needed to stop feeling so sorry for myself and get on with things. And when we started talking again at the station, maybe not a lot but…it just felt things were back to normal. And it makes me happy. But I just want you to know up front that I accept your apology and can move on from what happened.”

Willam sighs out relief. “Well thank God. I kinda still thought you were mad at me and didn’t really know what to do. I thought we were doing that 'lets-be-civil’ bullshit. But I’m glad.”

“Maybe we can just see what happened as a learning experience from now on.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Willam smiles to which I smile back. “Thanks, Court’.”

“No problem.” I reply. “So- -”

“There you are!”

Adore is now standing beside us at the table. “I looked forever man. I thought you’d be in the pet store or Victoria’s Secret.” She then looks to Willam. “Oh hey, girl.”

“Evening.” Willam replies. “To be honest I’d probably see Courtney hiding somewhere difficult like a parking lot.”

I curse as the idea didn’t even cross my mind.

“Oh me too. But you’d find me either smoking weed or offering services.” Adore laughed.

“Count me in then.” I say rolling my eyes at the thought of it.

“And me too.” Willam agrees.

“How about you join us, man.” Adore offers Willam. “When was the last time you played extreme hide and seek?”

“I don’t know. I’m kind of hungover and need a coffee.” Willam replies.

“Oh come on it’ll be fun!” I whine giving Willam puppy dog eyes.

“Guys, I know I live my life on the edge but I’m not 10.” Willam retorts.

Adore and I look to each other, smirking. And then back to Willam.

“1…2…3…” We chant in unison.

A smirk creeps onto Willam’s face as she shakes her head. “Goddammit.”

And with that she gets up and quickly leaves the cafe out of our sight.

“I feel like she’s gonna be really good at hiding. Let’s give her one minute to hide.” I suggest.

“OK, I won’t tell her if you wont.” Adore says sitting down.

Adore and I discuss the possibilities of where Willam would choose as her hiding space and I smile all the while. Not just because of the current situation but also because of the overwhelming sense of relief. That remaining sense of sadness can finally leave my body as I breathe out. And it’s so uplifting. And now is the time for a new chapter in my life to begin. No more searching for someone who I believe is the only one when there are so many more opportunities out there waiting. No more being fooled by an emotion that tricks me into behaving like someone who I am not. No more thoughts of life being over in moments of heartbreak. No more negativity.

I guess this is the end to my infinite search for love and the beginning to living life as it happens. Who knows what will happen? I could find my true love tomorrow – next week – next year. I’ll never know. But I just got to wait. And while I wait, I’ll make sure to live life to the fullest.

AN: The end…?

#witney #courtney act #willam belli #adore delano #bendelacreme #alaska thunderfuck #alyssa edwards #fluff #comfort #angst #au #cisgirl au #rpdr fanfiction #submission #lesbian au #cisfl

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sapphiresea · 7 years ago

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Questions For LGBT Ladies #LGBTask Answer them all hehe

questions for lgbt ladies #lgbtask

i’ll skip the ones i’ve already done. see previous post for answers.

1 ) how do you define your sexuality? lesbian af.2 ) at what age did you first realize that you like girls? my first crush was at age 8 but i didn’t recognize it as such until i was looking back later. my first inkling was when i was thirteen and my teacher said that one in ten people are gay, which meant at least two or three of us in my class were gay and i was like, “i wonder who the others are,” and then panicked. there were a few times like that and many a woman i ‘admired’ but i didn’t acknowledge it until i was nineteen.3 ) how out are you? pretty out. there’s only a few people left in my regular life who don’t know.5 ) who was the first person you came out to? how did they take it? the first person i told was courtney, who later became my first girlfriend. so that’s how she took it lol.6 ) has coming out lost you any friends? yup. not many, thankfully, but one of my best friends from high school was dating a super-homophobic ( and just all around terrible ) guy and he convinced her to stop being my friend. and considering how disgusted she acted whenever i did talk about my gf at the time, i was kind of over it anyway. i do kind of miss her sometimes though.7 ) what is your current relationship status? in a relationship~8 ) how many gay friends do you have? online? like a billion. offline? like one lmao.9 ) how many male friends do you have? i have a few male friends but only two i’d consider myself close to: peter and miguel.10 ) have you ever cut your hair super short? nope. chin-length was the shortest i ever went and i hated it.11 ) how often do you wear flannel? listen... i counted up all the plaids in my closet a few months ago and it totalled twelve. and i have since bought at least four more. a better question is how often am i not wearing it.12 ) how much do you like cats? i’m currently trying to get a new kitten, so every time someone in the house does something well, i’m like, “wow, you deserve a kitten!” and every time they don’t, i tell them, “that’ll cost you one kitten.” so far no bites. but i really, really love cats.13 ) do you like skirts and dresses? sometimes, if i’m in the mood...which isn’t often.15 ) do you have any tattoos? if so, how many and where? i do. i have two; one on each wrist. on my right wrist is my first tattoo, a triquetra, and on my left is an infinity arrow. i just got that one a week ago.16 ) how accurate is your gaydar? unfortunately my ‘gaydar’ is often very confused with my ‘please-be-gay-dar.’17 ) have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? yep. we only really have one here and it mostly tailors to men and straight girls, so i don’t like it that much. i went to a couple out of town. the one in san francisco ( i’m blanking on its name ) was by far the best.18 ) how do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? it’s so annoying. straight girls who refer to their female friends as ‘girlfriend’ owe me and all other sapphics $20 cash.19 ) have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? isn’t that, like, the most universal lesbian experience?20 ) ellen or portia? excuse me, what do you mean or ??? they’re the best together. but portia is my actual hero.21 ) is your nose pierced? nope.22 ) would you ever want to get married? if i meet a woman i’m certain i want to spend my life with, absolutely.23 ) will you wear a dress for your wedding? probably. 25 ) have you ever watched the l word? i watched the first season and maybe it makes me a bad lesbian, but i couldn’t get it into it.26 ) have you ever dated a guy? yep. nothing serious, though. i mean i literally gagged kissing one of them, so...27 ) how do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? they’re probably stupid, dumb, and boring if they’re still using it for that.28 ) how many rainbow items do you own? lmao so many. my favorite recent addition is monty puckers, my stuffed gay gorilla.29 ) have you ever been to a pride festival? i just went to the one in my city last week.30 ) have you ever celebrated national coming out day ( october 11 )? i’ll usually post stuff about it and in support of all my lgbt siblings, but i’ve never uesd it to come out, myself.31 ) have you ever participated in the national day of silence? considering this is the first i’ve heard of it, no. but now i’m going to google to find out more.32 ) have you ever worn a woman’s suit? no, but women in suits 💯👌🏻👅 sign me tf up.33 ) have you ever worn any men’s clothing? i own a couple flannels from the men’s section and a few tees, but not really. i like my stuff more fitted.35 ) do you consider yourself a feminist? absolutely. intersectional, of course.36 ) who is your favorite lgbt celebrity? kate mckinnon, in case you can’t tell from my blog, is my #1. portia de rossi, stephanie beatriz, aubrey plaza, ani difranco, and melissa etheridge are pretty high up there, too.37 ) are you religious at all? yes. i don’t go to church every sunday anymore, but i do consider myself a non-denominational christian.38 ) how often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female? i stare a lot. it’s kind of a problem.39 ) what is your ideal first date? usually for first dates, i like something lowkey where we can just get to know each other. after that, i like stuff like arcades and amusement parks and lots of movie dates and netflix.40 ) are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, or dyke? i’m great with them if they come from other lesbians. if they come from non-lesbians, no. miss me with that homophobic crap. it’s not yours to reclaim.41 ) how outdoorsy are you? i’m allergic to sun, so not very. i love the forest and walking down by the river and visiting elbow falls and such, but i can’t really do much of that anymore without ending up wanting to die.42 ) in general, has being out affected your relationships with other females? sometimes it’s really weird and i do notice them treating me differently, but usually it’s fine.43 ) how much makeup do you typically wear? not a lot, but i do wear a full face any time i’m going out or having company over. i just feel more comfortable with it.45 ) are you more feminine or more masculine? definitely femme. even if i don’t wear the heels.46 ) how long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? are you still with that person? coming up on nine months and yes. 47 ) have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? no. i don’t usually date girls who look enough like me lol.48 ) do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? i think it’s not my place to decide how other people experience attraction.49 ) have you ever wished you were completely straight? i used to when i was younger. now i’m really glad i’m not because girls are amazing and i love being a lesbian.50 ) do you watch any lesbian youtubers? sometimes. usually stevie or ally hills or hannah hart. i don’t watch any youtubers regularly though.51 ) do you like wearing combat boots or doc martins? motorcycle boots are my jam.52 ) have you ever been hit on by another female? yes. often. and a shining moment for me was being asked out by a girl while waiting for my date ( another girl ) to arrive. ( i said ‘no,’ obviously, but i was proud of myself. )53 ) how athletic are you? 0%. faked injuries to get out of p.e.; only runs when chased.55 ) what is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? not really into it, personally, but if that’s what makes you happy, i’m not judging. some chicks look really hot with them.56 ) what does equality mean to you? it means equal rights and protections under the law, but it also means that one day those laws won’t even be needed because people won’t have to be told that we’re human, too. it means no more stupid ass debates about whether companies can deny service to lgbt patrons or idiots on television saying lesbians caused the hurricanes. it means that kids won’t grow up thinking straight is the only option or that they’re somehow bad or wrong for being lgbt. it means we won’t all be assumed to be straight or cis.57 ) if you are not a full blown lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females? uhhhh? i don’t know? i don’t fall for every girl i see, if that’s the question. i definitely notice when girls are really attractive. 58 ) have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? no, but honestly...goals.59 ) have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? no. that’s, like, one of my main criteria. it would be way too weird. and unfortunately i have one of the most common names for sapphic women around here. i would, however, make an exception for stephanie beatriz. 60 ) how flirty are you? i can be pretty flirty, but usually only with people i’m in relationships with or who have already expressed interest in me.61 ) are you a virgin? no.62 ) do you listen to any lgbt musicians such as tegan and sara, melissa etheridge, or chely wright? all of the above, yes. i almost exclusively listen to lgbt artists, with a few exceptions like rob giles and emily kinney.63 ) have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? yes. which i think is missing the entire point. other girls are too pretty for me not to be gay, and i’m not wasting myself on a dude.65 ) have you ever driven an suv or a pickup truck? i have not, as i am a terrible driver who would like the smallest car possible to avoid collision. i have, however, been picked up for dates in both and yes. a+ 10/10 do recommend.66 ) are you or have you ever been a tomboy? as a kid i always thought i wanted to be a tomboy but was far too girly...turns out i was just in love with the tomboys.67 ) agree or disagree: everyone is at least a little bit gay. disagree. sexuality is fluid for some and less for others.68 ) what personality trait are you most attracted to? sense of humor and kindness.69 ) boobs or butts? eyes. but also boobs.70 ) beer or wine? vodka.71 ) do you have a favorite lesbian movie? up until recently, it was imagine me & you. now it’s for sure a million happy nows. i’m still sobbing.72 ) from 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 10/10.73 ) from 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? depends on the girl and the glasses but 8-10/10.75 ) from 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 10/10. 76 ) from 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? i tend toward being attracted to long hair but honestly there are so many stunners with short hair like 15/10.77 ) from 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 10/10. although i usually go for a little femininity. that futch aesthetic is my greatest weakness.78 ) from 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 10/10.79 ) from 1-10, how attractive are tall women ( i.e. around 6 feet or taller )? wow. lemme climb you. i mean what80 ) have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? yes? 81 ) has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? no, i don’t think so.82 ) do you carry a purse? i try to avoid it.83 ) do you have any lgbt relatives? my mom’s uncle was gay and had a successful drag show in vancouver, but i was never allowed to meet him before he died. otherwise, nope. just me.85 ) would you ever date a trans girl? i mean, probably.86 ) how well do you think lgbt women are portrayed in television? lol that’s a joke, right? i’ve seen some good reps but usually we’re side characters or killed off and there isn’t a whole lot of diversity, so tv really needs to up its game as a whole.87 ) have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? listen... i’m the queen of falling for older women. i once dated a woman who was almost twice my age. although tbh it was a bit of a mistake for other reasons.88 ) do you have any celebrity crushes? do i??? someone find me lauren cohan so i can propose immediately.89 ) do you have any opinions on lgbt people in the military? yeah, my opinion is fuck off with your homophobia and transphobia. someone’s risking their life to keep your company safe, you can shut the fuck up about what’s between their legs or who they choose to spend their lives with.90 ) do you believe in love at first sight? nah. i believe in attraction / crushes / lust and being really drawn to someone, but you can’t know you love someone until you actually know them as a person. otherwise you’re just projecting your ideas of what you want them to be.91 ) would you ever have a threesome? if so, would a guy be included? i’m too jealous for a threesome. i’d just be crying the whole time lmao. and a guy would never, ever be included even if i did somehow change my mind.92 ) where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? ideally? out in the wild, like, in class or at a bookstore or something. realistically, on an app like her.93 ) is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? i’m sure somewhere out there it exists, but i’ve yet to find it.95 ) how often do you wear a bra? whenever i go out or have company over. if i’m just lounging at home, i don’t tend to bother.96 ) have you ever been part of a softball team? nope. like i said, 0% athletic.97 ) if you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? well, it wasn’t really a choice to begin with? but if it was, yes, i would.98 ) what stereotype about lgbt women do you disagree with the most? miss me with that predatory lesbian bullshit.99 ) what advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? give yourself time. don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. labels can be great, but don’t stress too hard if you don’t know what you are or don’t want to define yourself. just respect yourself and do what makes you happy. and fuck what other people think.100 ) what advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? be safe and don’t feel pressured to tell anyone you don’t want to tell. your safety and comfort is top priority.

#about me #wow that took a long time haha #thanks babe <333 #hey lesbihonest

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